I’m a highly sensitive introvert. This means whatever I do, the work I produce, or the path I choose to pursue, it all gets attached to my emotions.
It’s either a blessing or a curse. If things go well, I feel like I’m on top of the world and my outlook on life is wonderful. If it’s going badly (even if just for a day), it’s quite frankly, the opposite. I can take things personally, overthink the simplest things and as a result, allow my emotions to be influenced by things I can’t control.
If you’re highly sensitive, you know where I’m coming from. Even if you’re not, you’ve probably felt this way at least some point in your journey.
So, to combat this, I’ve made the decision to detach myself emotionally from work to preserve my mental and emotional wellbeing.
Don’t panic though, an explanation is coming…
Why detaching from work emotionally… works
First, a disclaimer. When I say ‘detach from work emotionally’, I’m not saying I’m going to become a robot who doesn’t care about what I’m doing. In fact, it’s the opposite (the points below illustrate this).
By detaching emotions from certain aspects of my business, I’m allowing myself to think objectively, serve others better and sustain my business while keeping my wellbeing in mind.
Note: Also, when I say ‘work’, I’m talking about the stuff that gets you paid. Of course, there are some aspects of work this doesn’t apply to, so take what you like from this article and just apply that.
It helps you serve others better
When it comes to whatever you’re doing, the likelihood is, your work is in service of other people.
Whether you’re a designer, an online guru, a photographer or writer, whatever you produce is made for somebody else. When you attach your own emotions and sense of self to that work, it’s not really made for them, it’s for you. Your goal should be to help and serve others in the best way possible, if you’re not, you’re letting your ego(your sense of self) get in the way.
By detaching your emotional sense of self from your work, you’re able to put others first and serve them better.
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It makes selling easier
When it comes to selling online, I know more than any introvert sales don’t come easy. Going to networking events, sending emails to strangers and making phone calls are all hard things to do. I truly believe these are all hard because you’re attaching too much emotion to doing it.
When you detach emotionally from these tasks, you no longer put emphasis on your nerves, you ignore any shame or guilt you might be feeling and you view it as a process – it’s simply part of the job and it’s okay to hate doing it. You simply don’t have to like every aspect of your job!
It allows you to live your life outside of work
When you’re so invested emotionally in your work, it makes it very hard for you to have any emotional investment into anything else in life. I can bet your hobbies have dwindled over the years because you’ve been focusing on work.
If this is the case, you’ve been doing yourself a great disservice. Your emotional wellbeing depends on you having areas of your life that are pure fun. When you detach emotionally from work (even just a little bit), it allows space in your mind for other fulfilling activities.
It helps you bounce back from setbacks
I can bet that if you’re an online business owner, your business is basically your life. It’s your baby. So if something were to happen to it, you’d feel devastated.
When you’ve created something from scratch, it’s very hard to detach emotionally from it. But you must place less emotional attachment to your creation because when it comes to setbacks (and they will probably happen), you need to be able to bounce back and keep that baby going. When you’re not so attached, you can see clearly and objectively what went wrong and work to fix it quickly.
How to emotionally detach from work
So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. We’ve talked about why you should detach emotionally from work, now let’s talk about how.
Talk to someone who does it already
I bet there’s someone in your life who does a job that pays the bills so they can have the spare time to focus on the things they love outside of work. Approach them gently and with caution. Fill them in on your situation, be honest and tell them how you’re struggling and then ask them how they handle it.
You can bet they will have some nuggets of information that will help, and if not, you’ve just become closer to a friend for sharing.
Be intentionally objective
One of the best ways to train your mind to detach your emotional self from work is to do it deliberately. Once you’ve decided this is the path you want to take, take note of each situation that comes up and try to be as objective as possible.
- A client doesn’t reply to an email as quickly as they usually do
- It’s not something you said, they’re just busy and they will get to it
- Someone leaves a rude comment on your video
- If it was constructive, use it to improve
- If it wasn’t, ignore it
- A customer sends you a personal complaint about your service
- Again, if it was constructive, use it to improve
- If it wasn’t, be polite but let it wash off your back
Remember, you have the power to choose how you react to certain situations. You can decide to let them influence your day, or you can use them as tools and grow.
Create your own mantras/phrases
If you need a little extra help in reminding yourself to not be so emotionally attached to work, here are a few phrases that could help:
- I’m more than my work
- I will not let someone else have power over me
- I need to save my energy for the people I love
Use these when you’re feeling low, stressed or anxious and if all else fails, tell a friend what you’re trying to do and let them help.
It’s time to establish your identity outside of work and approach the work you currently do a little more objectively. As a highly sensitive person or just someone who’s struggling, you owe it to yourself to put your wellbeing first.
Featured image by AllGo – An App For Plus Size People
You might also like:
- How to Get out of Your Comfort Zone Without Destroying Yourself
- The Most Important Thing I Learned as a Highly Sensitive Person
- One Important Skill to Master as an INFJ Business Owner
Are you trying to detach yourself emotionally from work? Have any stories or tips you’d like to share? Leave us a comment.